March 19, 2004--Where is a military wife to go when she needs information and support…and she doesn’t feel like a “Proud Military Wife”? These days, thousands of wives from all branches of service are flocking to the newest web site for military families, Shore Duty (www.SarahSmiley.com).
Begun less than 3 months ago, Shore Duty has grown at an amazing speed. Sarah Smiley, the site’s owner and operator, reports that Shore Duty already has over 200 subscribers and more than 4,000 unique visitors a month.
So what’s so special about this site for military families, and why has it grown so fast? Smiley says the answer is in Shore Duty’s realistic, uncomplicated approach.
“I wanted to create something for the real military spouse,” says Smiley. “There is so much pressure to be the ‘the strong military wife’ that society imagines in their head, I want to give these women a place to go when they don’t feel so brave….and maybe not even so patriotic.”
What? A military wife not feeling patriotic? Isn’t that near blasphemy?
Smiley says it’s not only common, it’s realistic. “Not many spouses feel like belting the Star Spangled Banner as they watch the ship leave with tears in their eyes,” says Smiley. “It’s natural to feel resentful and sad at this time. And yet, many spouses feel pressure to maintain a strong, proud, can-do attitude.”
Smiley believes this pressure contributes to many spouses’ experiences with Depression during a deployment. In a recent installment of her syndicated column (also by the name of Shore Duty), which is published weekly in 7 different publications, Smiley shared her own personal experience with Depression during her husband’s first two deployments.
She wrote: “Why is it so hard for us to talk about things like [Depression? Why do military spouses in particular feel the need to hide it? I think it stems from many things. First, we are taught to be strong and to put on a can-do attitude right from the start. Then, when our spouses deploy, we’re often advised, ‘don’t bother him with problems back home.’ But mostly, I think, we hide it because we fear being labeled a military wife failure.”
“This column was definitely the most difficult to write,” confesses Smiley. “It’s not easy to bare your soul to a few million readers and strangers. But I’m glad I did it, and the response has made it all worth it.”
Every day, hundreds of military spouses go to Smiley’s Shore Duty site for encouragement and a realistic dose of what life in the military is really like. She hopes that with the exposure of her own struggle with Depression, wives who visit the site will feel encouraged….and relieved.
“There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re ‘the only one,’” says Smiley. “But what’s worse than that? Feeling like you’re the only one AND everyone else is doing fantastic! It’s nice to know that others have ‘been there, done that.’”
“And trust me,” she says, “I have!”
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